Sevgul Uludag
caramel_cy@yahoo.com
Tel: 00 357 99 966518
I go to two funerals, one in Dromolaxia, one in Gaziveran. I go to the burial ceremony of Kyriacos Constanti Hadjisoteri who had been `missing` since 1974 and to Ozer Ekrem Emin who was `missing` since 1963. They were both innocent, they were both kidnapped and `disappeared`. They were killed and both were buried in wells: Ozer Ekrem Emin in a well in Kokkinotrimitia, Kyriacos Constanti Hadjisoteri in a well in Livadia in Karpaz.
Both had a wife and three children each. Both of them had a daughter each and two sons each…
Ayshe from Gaziveran was six months pregnant to her daughter and three months after her husband went `missing` she gave birth to Sherife, the daughter. Her sons Huseyin and Raif were small kids, one seven, the other five and a half… Ayshe's life from 1963 onwards would stretch out before her as a life of misery and waiting…
Maria had three kids when her husband was kidnapped from their house in Komikebir – Takis, Costakis and Salomi… She too would have a life of misery and suffering just like Ayshe who had passed from the same path 11 years before her… She too would wait and wait and wait for the return of her husband…
But both women would have a similar fate… I would realize this during the funerals… Their life would not be enough to see the day that the remains of their husbands had been found: Maria would pass away in 2001 and Ayshe would pass away in 2002. Kyriacos would be buried in the same grave as Maria and Ozer Ekrem would be buried in a grave next to Ayshe…
They would finally unite in a graveyard…
The weather was cold and dark clouds had gathered in Gaziveran, a Turkish Cypriot village close to Prastio and Morphou as we had gone to the mosque for the funeral.
I had been a bit worried about both funerals: that of Kyriacos on the 7th of February in Dromolaxia and that of Ekrem on the 9th of February in Gaziveran. The wife of Kyriacos had died, his kids had gone to England and they were coming back for the funeral… The wife of Ekrem had died and his kids had moved away from Gaziveran to other towns and they were coming to Gaziveran for the funeral… I had been worried in case not too many people would show up but I was wrong: People from Komikebir would come all the way from Limassol and other places to attend the funeral… People from Gaziveran and other places came to the funeral of Ekrem… In their last journey, there would be a lot of their villagers and friends to be there…
Huseyin, the son of Ekrem would stand next to the open grave where they would lay the remains of his father and make a short speech… He was holding the two wedding bands in his hand… He would throw the wedding bands of his mother and father in the open grave and cry: `Now they are uniting after so many years of waiting…`
They had dug a grave right next to the grave of Ayshe and we would stand in the rain watching the burial…
Ekrem had been a policeman at Peristerona and he had many Greek Cypriot friends – Ekrem always dressed up and looked very smart and played the saz and had a nice voice and sang songs… They would eat and drink and he would play and sing… I heard these stories from his good Greek Cypriot friends, stories about him, stories of happiness and tragedy… His son Huseyin still can't believe how one of his Greek Cypriot friends could take him away and fetch him to Kokkinotrimitia where he would be killed together with his sergeant Ahmet Osman and other Turkish Cypriots to be thrown in the chain of wells there… Huseyin the son would make the funeral speech in Gaziveran and would have difficulty speaking – so full of emotion, so many tears for so many years… The skies would open up and we would have a strong shower of rain – it would be as though the earth would hear his cry and would send its tears on the grave… We would all be soaked under the
rain, sharing the pain of this family…
The grandson of Kyriacos from Komikebir, carrying the same name as his grandfather - also Kyriacos - would make the funeral speech in the church in Dromolaxia… He came to Cyprus to attend the funeral and he would speak about his memories with his grandfather… How they would go to work in the fields together, how his grandfather would allow him to drive the tractor despite his small age, how he saw his grandfather for the last time, how he insisted to stay in Komikebir and not leave because he had nothing to fear, he hadn't done anything wrong…
We would lay the coffin of Kyriacos in the grave of his wife…
Both Maria and Ayshe would now lay with their `missing` husbands for whom they had waited for… This would be `the end`, `the final chapter`, `the closure`…
The striking similarity of the lives of Maria and Ayshe and their kids stay with me after the funerals for many days…
I keep thinking how their `missing` husbands would finally be buried with them… With a decade apart, both had similar pain, similar experiences… Almost identical lives… Identical pain, identical wait, identical suffering… Why is it that we cannot see that the mass majority in this island, either Turkish Cypriot or Greek Cypriot have had identical suffering and instead we try to `victimize` ourselves? Why is it that this vital piece of information is kept from our children at school, what do they learn if they don't learn this? And can you call this `learning`?
We lead `separate lives` on this island and we are kept `unaware` about how the experiences throughout our lives had been very similar…
The `partition` of this island is not only the biggest `crime` but also has led to the change of mentality where people simply do not see each other and make each other `invisible` despite so many similarities and so many similar experiences…
The story of the lives of Maria and Ayshe should be taught in all schools, both Turkish Cypriot and Greek Cypriot… Groups of children should visit their graves in Dromolaxia and Gaziveran and meet their children to hear and see how our lives in Cyprus had been very similar and how our suffering is common…
Instead of the `big words` of politicians about `the Cyprus problem`, we should hear of stories like Maria's and Ayshe's and so many others so that we can perhaps see how our fate on this island is also common…
14.2.2015
Photo: The son and grandchildren of Kyriacos at the grave of Maria...
(*) Article published in POLITIS on the 8th of March 2015, Sunday.
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