Sevgul Uludag
caramel_cy@yahoo.com
Tel: 00 357 99 966518
00 90 542 853 8436
On the 21st of December 1963, which is considered a `Black Day` for Turkish Cypriots, that is the beginning of the inter-communal conflict of '63, a Greek Cypriot foundation organizes a `dance` in the northern part of Nicosia, at the Buyuk Han…
When I find out, I try to contact the organizers to try to tell them that this is a very bad choice as a date – that perhaps they should think of postponing it to another date… On that day and the following days until May 1964, many Turkish Cypriots were killed or went `missing`… It is an important date in our recent history as an island… Not only Turkish Cypriots but Greek Cypriots too had been killed or went `missing` around those dates… It was the beginning of the next phase of the conflict that would carry us to the partition in 1974… The conflict, brewing had already started in the late 50s but '63 was a turning point… We all know that…
A friend from Limassol calls me to invite me to this event and I tell her it is a very bad choice as a date… `If I call you to come and dance in Ledra Street on the 20th of July, would you like that? We should show a little bit of respect to the pain of the relatives whose loved ones have been killed or went `missing` on that date…` I tell her.
One of the Greek Cypriot organizers is shocked to find out that this is a very sensitive date for Turkish Cypriots, he is very sorry that none of the Turkish Cypriots in their group had noticed it and immediately he tries to speak with everyone and calls everyone and arranges a meeting but because so much effort has been put to this dancing event he says, finally they decide not to postpone it.
So on the 21st of December 2013, Saturday, some Turkish Cypriots and Greek Cypriots gather at the Buyuk Han and dance…
I feel sad… Call it a `mistake` or `lack of care` - the `pretext` doesn't matter really – it simply brings sadness to my heart… Was it so difficult to shift this date and to show some respect to the pain of the relatives of those `missing` on that date?
I feel sad a lot these days when I sit down and listen to the impact of the 50 year old conflict on this island on the relatives of `missing persons`…
I feel sad to hear that one old Greek Cypriot woman, after the return of the remains of her husband, whom I had helped to find, has lost her attachment towards life and that her health has deteriorated… For many long years, she had been at the Ledra Palace checkpoint with a photograph of her husband in her hands, she was wearing black… After her husband had gone `missing` in 1974, it had been her life's aim to find out what had happened to him, she had found details and I had helped the relatives to find more details and to confirm that he had been killed and despite threats we had managed to find the burial site… After the exhumation of his remains together with others, I would also attend his funeral, bringing with me seashells I had collected from the beach in Karpasia, from the village where he came from, to bury with him…
But when she gets the remains and buries her husband, after some time, she realizes that she has lost the aim of her life and her health starts deteriorating… I am afraid to ask her son how she is but one of her cousins tells me about her… I wanted to visit her but I was advised by her relatives not to go since she might not recognize me… I feel sad because I know what a strong woman she had been and what sort of struggles she had to give to survive and to find out the truth… Her untreated traumas in the end open the gates to this new situation: She has lost her aim in life… I feel sad not only for her but for all those in similar situations – no one ever treated their traumas and now she lays down to die…
Another woman, a Turkish Cypriot whose father went `missing` in 1963 from Larnaka calls me every 15 days…
`What happened? Did they start digging? Did they find my father? It has been exactly 50 years since he went `missing` - my mother died waiting for any news… I am growing old now, shall I be able to take his remains and bury him before I die?`
She has been struggling alone to take care of her sick mother who had been bedridden – each time there was a funeral of a `missing person`, her mother would get excited and she would ask if she too would be able to take the remains of her husband and bury him… This year she passes away… I feel shame that we could not even give her the remains of her husband and now her daughter is waiting impatiently for this well to be dug or for that well to be dug to see if her father's remains would be finally found… 50 years… She had been a child and now she is a middle aged woman… She had baby teeth and now her teeth have fallen out… She had beautiful, shiny hair and now her hair has turned grey… Just imagine the time she has been waiting – 50 long, long, long years… And yet, still there are no results…
I go to visit two young women in their house… One of them was six years old when her father went `missing` in 1974… As a six year old girl, she would never leave the house, she didn't want to get out of the house just in case her father came back and did not find anyone at home… Again, no one ever treated her traumas… Who will compensate for this huge loss and huge pain and this trauma? Who will give her back the childhood that she lost? Just imagine being a six year old girl and never wanting to go out to play in the street or wanting to go to a neighbour's house or outside your village since your father might come and might not find anyone at home…
Can you imagine what she has been living throughout her life? Can you imagine her fear of getting out of the house? Can you imagine how this fear must have affected her soul?
How did all these relatives of `missing persons` cope all these years with all these traumas?
Cyprus is a place where thousands of people have been living with traumas throughout their lives with no treatment or understanding or care… Politicians in both sides would only use these traumas for their own agenda but no one would actually show some human care…
These traumas are not just the traumas of individuals; they are the traumas of our communities…
Ignoring these wounds and traumas will not make them go away…
They are still bleeding and we need to find humanitarian ways to cure these traumas… Otherwise our country will never heal…
21.12.2013
Photo: The first Turkish Cypriot victim Cemaliye Huseyin who was killed in december 1963... She left behind a daughter. Kyriacos Djambazis is currently writing a novel about her...
(*) Article published in the POLITIS newspaper on the 29th of December 2013, Sunday.
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