Sevgul Uludag
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Tel: 99 966518
Yildan Gulakdeniz was born in 1961 at Tochni… `All the houses were built of stone, they all had yards, they all had an upstairs…` she remembers… And she continues to tell her tragic story in an interview with me… Here is the tragic story of Yildan Gulakdeniz whose two brothers were "missing" – they were taken by some Greek Cypriots from Tochni in 1974 and while the remains of her brother Ahmet Hamza were found among the remains of other Turkish Cypriots on the second bus, the remains of her brother Yuksel – a 19-year-old boy – have not been found in the mass grave in Pareklisia…
This is how Yildan tells her story:
"Our mothers all used to embroider Lefkara lace… We used to learn how to embroider Lefkara from a very early age and we too used to embroider. I remember all neighbours gathering in front of the houses in the street since houses were next to each other, there was no space between them… As women gathered to embroider Lefkara, men would go to work in Limassol… My father Hamza used to work at the UN camp at Zygi… My mother's name is Ayshe…
We were not a rich family but we were a happy family… We had six children in our family, four boys and two girls. I was the youngest kid… All of them loved me a lot since I was the youngest… This big brother of mine, Ahmet Hamza used to love me a lot, the one who was "missing" and whose remains have been found… In 1974 my brother Ahmet was 21 years old and my brother Yuksel who is still "missing" was 19 years old. I was barely a 13-year-old girl… Both my mother and father were from Tochni… As I remember during summer months we used to go as a family to collect carobs… We used to play out in the streets… I remember good things from the past. My mother used to bake bread in the oven outside once a week. Clothes would be washed by hand. When I smell detergent, I remember these since they were boiling in big pots the dirty clothes…
We went to the southern part of our island the other day and we sat down somewhere… All of a sudden I noticed that there was this "zangalak" ("mavromata" – "lullukia" in Cypriot Greek) (chinaberry - Melia azedarach tree) tree there…
When I saw that tree I was shocked and I said to my friends, "Re friends! This zangalak tree has affected me so much… I had totally forgotten about it but now I remember…" Before the checkpoints opened, I used to dream of my house in Tochni… It was a very solid house, built of stone…
"I used to dream of the road to my house, my house… I went when checkpoints opened and there was only this mavromata tree there. Our house was completely demolished… So I stood there, there was nothing but a mavromata tree… I took photos there… So this mavromata tree is so important for me…" This is what I said to my friends…
I am thinking to write a book – I also work with ceramics, maybe I will make the mavromata tree as a ceramic… No one has written about our village and look, I had two brothers "missing", remains of one has been found but one still "missing"… My auntie has three sons who were killed, my uncle was killed… Our family has a lot of persons who were killed in 1974…
After seeing that mavromata tree, I could not sleep for some days… I kept remembering the tree near our house and all those things that happened in the past…
I had graduated from elementary school and began the secondary school. Our school was in Kofinou so we used to go with a small minibus… Once in a while we would go to Larnaca or Limassol where my auntie lived. My brothers would go to the cinema in Kofinou and sometimes they would take me with them… There were no cars so a bus would come to pick them up to go to the cinema…
The thing I loved most as a child were the "buppa" – rag dolls – that my mother used to make for me… These dolls were so beautiful and I tried to capture the beauty of those dolls with ceramics…
All my childhood passed by playing with those pretty dolls made by my mother. Those were my only toys… Once my uncle who was killed in 1974 had come from Australia before 1974 and had brought be a real doll… I was so happy! I had a real toy for the first time! But if you ask me now, I wouldn't change the dolls my mother made for me for anything… I don't have any of them – but I kept a lot of things… For instance, I kept the passport of my "missing" brother Ahmet… My sister had settled in England and my brother Ahmet wanted to go there so he took out a passport which he never had any chance to use… When we were leaving Tochni, I took that passport with me and brought it here… I kept it always, it was not going to be used but as a memory I kept it. And that passport would play a great role when the remains of my brother were found. Officials of the Cyprus Missing Persons' Committee came to visit me and told me that the remains of one of my brothers were found but not the other… They had been on the second bus from Tochni that was supposed to go to Limassol but they were "missing". So the CMP told me "We found one of your brothers but we can't identify who he is through DNA, this is not possible…" Because both of them were single. I told them "But this is worse! One of my brothers would be there, I would go to the cemetery not knowing which brother he is… For whom shall I pray? This is worse for me; this is even more painful!"
"There is nothing else we can do" they told me.
I told them, "My brother Yuksel was very tall… My brother Ahmet was short… He took after my mother, my mother was short, my father was tall and well built…"
"But how shall we differentiate?" they told me from the CMP.
Then I remembered the passport of my brother that I had taken with me when coming to the northern part of our island.
I called CMP and I told them, "My brother Ahmet had a passport, there it is written how tall he was…"
So I searched my house and found the passport… And through that passport, it became clear that the remains they had found belonged to my brother Ahmet… Since my brother Ahmet was short, he was wearing those high-ish heels that was fashion at that time amongst men… His clothes were as I had described and that passport lead to the identification of the remains of my brother…
I also kept a mirror that belonged to my great grandmother… I was only 13, the UNFICYP had come to carry us with our furniture to the northern part. My mother happened to be in London in 1974 since my sister there was giving birth… So I had to choose what to take from the house and I took that mirror…
In those days in August 1974 we were all living in fear. We were gathering in houses – I did not see my brothers being taken but I saw others being taken… Some Greek Cypriots would come to the houses with guns and would say "We will take you as prisoners and take you to Limassol…"
In the house of the mukhtar, there was a sende… My two brothers and Mrs. Fatma's sons – the mukhtar's wife – had hidden there… They came and searched and did not find anyone.
Afterwards Mrs. Fatma gave me the watch of my brother Ahmet, he had taken it off his wrist and gave it to Mrs. Fatma to give it to me, telling her "I entrust my sister Yildan to you, please give this watch to her…"
After the Greek Cypriots had left, they had come down from the "mezzanine", my two brothers, her husband, her two sons… And they said, "Let us go and turn ourselves in… At least that would be better…"
Because what did the Greek Cypriots say when they came?
"If they don't turn themselves in, the moment we see them we will shoot them…"
So they thought "It is better to go and turn ourselves in to them, since we will be going to a prisoners' of war camp…"
So that's how my two brothers went and turned themselves in…
I had two other brothers but they were hidden elsewhere. My brothers Birol and Yildiray had hidden and that's how their lives were saved. They were hiding on the mountain.
So my brother Yuksel and Ahmet went – they were not taken, they went on their own and turned themselves in.
The Greek Cypriots had come to the house of the mukhtar's wife, Mrs. Fatma on an afternoon – maybe 14th or 15th of August… On the same day they went and turned themselves in. The following day towards noon the buses came to Tochni. We were told that people saw them on the second bus. According to the testimony of Suat – who remained alive from the massacre – they were on the second bus…
The remains of my brother Ahmet were found with those on the second bus. The officials of the CMP also told me that the remains of Niyazi Musa from the first bus was also not found… And remains of my brother Yuksel from the second bus was not found…
They told me that according to Suat, Niyazi was shot from his legs, perhaps he could crawl to a certain point to escape and then he went "missing"…
I never went to the mass grave in Pareklisia but they showed us the photos… They dug so much and could not find my brother… So where is he? Is he alive? This is not an impossible thing, anything is possible in this life… Maybe he lost his memory? When someone is "missing", there is this hope and when you hope, you hope… Now I will go to my brother Ahmet's grave and next to it is my brother Yuksel's grave but it is empty… All my life shall I go and look at that empty grave? I will say, "Where is he?"
The hardest thing for me was to tell my 90-year-old father. He is alive and well… He is very sane and sometimes advises us on various things…
I had to tell him that the remains of one of his sons were found but not the other…
For days, I did not tell him. But he sensed that I was sad… Then we thought, "Someone might go and tell him so it is better we tell him…"
I told him gently, "One of your sons have been found but not the other…"
He was very sad that day… He still hasn't come to himself…
"My brother Ahmet had a passport so they could know his height and that's how they found… They will also find my brother Yuksel" I told him very gently…
Now I am always thinking… My brother Yuksel was very tall… He looked exactly like an English boy… He was very blond… He had blond hair…
When you saw him, you could not say he was a Turkish Cypriot…
He was tall, thin, had blond hair… He had some freckles… He used to go to work with my father to the UN camp to do part time jobs or to work in Limassol… He worked as a builder…
When he went to Limassol, they always thought he was English and said "Hello" to him… So he never told them they were wrong…
Maybe he went to the British bases and there managed to get on a plane to go to London since they were evacuating British tourists… He looked like one…
I made an application in the name of my father to the Missing Persons' Committee… In Pareklisia they had dug up to a certain point they told me but there was this machine and was dangerous to dig there… I thought impossible since wouldn't they find even a single bone?
Maybe someone comes out and tells us… This is a very big pain for us… We want to find out what happened to him, where he is… The CMP told us that they were shot elsewhere and then buried at Pareklisia… They told us that there is a gap…
I don't lose hope… Maybe my brother is elsewhere, maybe he is there – perhaps someone who knows can tell us… Maybe someone will have mercy and contact you and tell you… What else can we do?"
9.10.2016
Photo: 19 year old Yuksel Hamza missing from the second bus from Tochni...
(*) Article published in the POLITIS newspaper on the 23rd of October, 2016 – Sunday.
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