Sunday, October 9, 2016

Story of a wedding ring…

Story of a wedding ring…

Sevgul Uludag

caramel_cy@yahoo.com

Tel: 99 966518

The remains of "missing" Ziya Yusuf were found in a well together with two other "missing" Turkish Cypriots from 1964 that we had shown to the Cyprus Missing Persons' Committee in Paralimni with the help of a kind hearted Greek Cypriot reader… His funeral took place on the 28th of August 2016 in Nicosia…
The son of "missing" Ziya Yusuf, Ayer Burke had only been 18 months' old when his father had gone "missing" – Ziya Yusuf, as well as other Turkish Cypriots working at NAAFI had been taken away on the 11th of May 1964 by some Greek Cypriots with guns and they would all go "missing" –their remains would be found five decades later in the Paralimni area buried at different places… The remains of Ziya Yusuf, Canbulat Ali and Kemal Mehmet Emin would be found in a well in Paralimni that one of our Greek Cypriot readers had shown us back in 2012 and we had shown to the CMP on the same day… CMP would dig this well in 2015 and the remains of the three "missing" Turkish Cypriots would be returned for burial to their relatives this year… I would attend the funeral of Kemal Mehmet Emin in Gouphes… I want to thank sincerely once again my Greek Cypriot reader, who had shown me and my friend Christina Pavlou Solomi Patsia this well in Paralimni… With his humanity, he has helped the return of the remains to three Turkish Cypriot families who have now, at least a grave where they can lay flowers…
Last week it was Bayram for Turkish Cypriots and the daughter of Ziya Yusuf, Serap Ozister wrote in social media, sharing photos of her mother at the grave of her father:
"Rest in peace father… 52 years later, you now have a grave where we can visit, having been found in a bottomless well…"
She shared photos of her mother at the grave and it was in fact the first time that the family could visit Ziya Yusuf at his grave after half a century… For half a century he would lay in a deep well in Paralimni, his relatives not knowing where he had been buried… For half a century they would not be able to visit any grave on any Bayram…
Bayram, for those of you who do not know, is a very important social and cultural time for Turkish Cypriots… We have two Bayrams every year – this is like the Christmas or Easter of Greek Cypriots – for Turkish Cypriots the Kurban Bayrami (where you can sacrifice a lamb) and Sheker Bayrami (where you offer sweets) are two very important occasions where the younger of the family would visit the elderly and kiss their hands and celebrate Bayram. The families would also visit the graves of the elderly from their families and lay flowers and pray one day before Bayram which is called "Arife"…
So for the first time the relatives of Ziya Yusuf would go and visit and lay flowers on his grave…
But what was more touching would be the words of his son, Ayer Burke, who would put on the wedding ring of his father that had been found in the well in Paralimni…
In social media, Ayer Burke would share the astonishing process about how he got the ring:
"I could never imagine that the wedding ring of my father that he was wearing on his finger when he had been kidnapped from NAAFI and killed by some Greek Cypriots on the 11th of May 1964, that this wedding ring would come back to me as a birthday gift on my 54th birthday…
When the Cyprus Missing Persons' Committee informed us that my father's remains had been found, when they showed us the photos of his personal belongings that came on him, I saw that among these personal belongings, there was the wedding ring – inside the golden wedding ring were inscribed the letters of the name of my beloved mother S.R. (Sevdiye Ramadan), the date 19.3 (wedding day) and another date 6.5.1956 (wedding ceremony).
(The other personal belongings of my father that came out the well was a pair of socks, a pair of deformed shoes, his car keys (Peugeot) and his keyring, some small change of money, pieces of his shirt and his buttons…)
When I saw the photographs of the personal belongings of my father, I couldn't help but cry and I remember saying out loud, "I want that ring…"
I was barely 18 months old when my father went "missing" and this created a longing for my father that it is difficult to explain with words… That is why I felt that I would feel peace inside me when I would put on that wedding ring of my father on my own finger…
During the process when they would give us back these personal belongings, I was thinking whether this wedding ring would fit my finger… This wedding ring stayed under the soil for 52 years, it had a priceless moral value for me since it was something that remained from my father, the father that I could never kiss, the father that I could never smell, the father that I longed for…
On the 26th of August 2016 when we buried the remains of my father at the Nicosia Martyrs' Cemetery, as they gave us back the personal belongings of our father, the first thing I did was take the wedding ring of my father, put it on my finger and when I saw that it fit perfectly, I became very emotional.
Yes, this ring that my father put on his finger exactly 60 years ago, in 1956, this ring that stayed with him in a bottomless well for exactly 52 years is now on my finger…
After long years of longing and not knowing any of the physical characteristics of him and never having had the opportunity to know him, I have found out that my father's fingers were exactly the same as mine… Do you know how painful this is for a son?
A father without having done anything wrong, an innocent father having been killed in such a violent way and keeping him away from his loved ones is unforgivable… I will not take off this ring from my finger until I die and I want my son Ziya who carries the name of my father to put it on his finger after I die…
Do you believe this? After I put on this wedding ring on my finger, I felt the warmth of a father intensively in my soul…
I feel very sad when I think of the moral feelings have been lost as a community – the moral community should come above everything else…
I can't help but think "How true is it to forgive so easily?" and I believe that those communities who do not know their past, what they had gone through cannot build a healthy future…"
May Ziya Yusuf, Canbulat Ali and Kemal Mehmet Emin rest in peace now…

25.9.2016

Photo: The wedding ring of the "missing" father Ziya Yusuf on the finger of his son Ayer Burke…

(*) Article published in the POLITIS newspaper on the 9th of October 2016, Sunday.

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